Friday, June 3, 2011

Happy Relationships ala Jennifer Savage

If you're interested in finding out what's going on, Twitter is a real good notifier. Today I happened to spot this: Twitter / @Jennifer Savage: 3 factors in determining a ...

I'm always interested in local people that have something interesting and relevant to say – even if I don't always see the logic. But, then that's me. I'm first a thinker then a believer. With me facts trump beliefs. That's how I crosscheck my facts with my beliefs and touch reality.

What caught my attention was the word “relationship.” So, I read her post to see what she meant by “relationship.” I've had a “relationship” with my best friend for over four decades. There must be some happiness thrown into the mix for it to last this long. You could say I've got some perspective on what makes a happy relationship. Her first sentence gave me a clue to what she was talking about: “I shared my observations on what three factors most affect a couple’s ability to find contentment in a relationship.” These are her three factors: [emphasis added]

1) Similar attitudes toward money
2)The relationship with the extended family.
3)The number of kids.

When I got to the “number of kids” I realized what kind of a “relationship” she was talking about: The kind that produces life. Because life is valuable, that is where I drew the line. When it comes to making babies, how many women, let alone couples, give the serious considerations Ms. Savage offers in this post? The answer? How many fatherless babies are born into this country every year? Contentment in a relationship is based upon a solid and permanent foundation of respect, consideration and decency. Yeah, I can hear everyone now, where's the LOVE? Love's nice. It makes for a happier relationship. You'll notice Ms. Savage doesn't broach that issue. She does, however, raise some important questions I doubt many relationships that get involved in the responsibilities of making babies ever give a second's thought.

Ms. Savage concludes by saying:
Plenty of people without family or financial resources have kids and are happy they had’em — myself included. Just in case that’s not obvious. Still, presents the aforementioned whole’nother round of challenges. Ideally, at the end of your life, you’re looking back on how much richer and deeper an experience you had for dealing with those challenges… right?
While having a kid or “kids” for a “much richer and deeper (life's) experience” might be a nice prospect and a seemingly worthwhile goal, I certainly would not want to be in the position of having to answer to the source and owner of all life for having botched my responsibilities entrusted to me as fiduciary trustee of that life. So, when it comes to putting a relationship together that can produce children, there is a very serious responsibility that goes with that decision – a decision that involves a commitment that goes far beyond the two individuals involved. Jennifer Savage's article is a good start.

Take a look, her post is pertinent, relevant (It asks good questions.) and is thought inspiring.

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate your thoughtful commentary on my post. Thank you.